We hear a lot about self love, it’s a hot topic right now. But what exactly is self love and why is it so important?
In the past self-love was viewed as a moral flaw, associated with vanity and selfishness. Do you remember kids in school saying “Oh my gosh she loves herself’ – like it was bad thing!!! I was one of those kids. Now I couldn’t be more proud to say “yeah I fucking love myself”. After the hippie era, the new age feminist movement as well as the increase in mental health awareness that promotes self-love, it has become not only acceptable to love yourself but totally encouraged. It’s something we all strive for.
The idea of self-love may seem abstract for some. It took me many years of practicing self-love to really grasp what it was all about. For me self-love means many things. It’s caring for your own well-being and happiness. It’s knowing your worth and standing up for it! It’s having deep compassion and acceptance for yourself. It’s following your unique path, outside of society’s standards (and owning it!).
Self-love is about loving ALL of yourself. Even the parts of yourself that you find hard to accept. The parts of yourself you’ve been taught to fear, to hide, to shame. Self love is about bringing consciousness to these parts of yourself so they feel accepted and no longer cause havoc in your life.
Love is the strongest emotion a human being can experience and the amount of love we have for ourselves can greatly affect our lives on all levels.
Love is foundation of all healing and the source of all thriving. No matter your desires in life, self love is the power the is going to get you there.
Personal growth – All personal development whether spiritual, emotional, mental or physical is much more supported when coming from place of love. Coming from a place of “I’m broken and need to fix myself’ is far less empowering than “I love myself so much that I will put in the time to heal myself and bring myself back into alignment with love”. E.g. I workout because I love my body not because I hate it. Your psyche responds better to love. In a sense it’s like working with law of attraction. Working with love means more love in all areas of life.
Personal empowerment – Emotions are powerful as they manifest into your outer reality. People only mirror back to you what you believe to be true about yourself. If you love yourself deeply you’ll receive an abundance of love from others to reflect that belief. Having inner self-love will only attract loving people, environments and situations. If someone was to show hate or anger towards you, your energy wouldn’t be easily affected or hurt as you wouldn’t take it on to be true. You’ll have understanding that it’s their own inner hurt or hatred for themselves and has nothing to do with. You can remain in your power of love without taking on their negative energy.
When you love yourself deeply other peoples validation doesn’t matter any more. Instead of doing things to impress other people or win over their love you can create your own safe space of love and support. You’ll be empowered to live out your wildest dreams and desires knowing no matter what happens you’ll always be loved because it’s something you can source from within.
Sexuality – When a woman orgasms the amygdala in the frontal cortex shuts down. This is the part of the brain that is voice of reason, the part that controls behaviour. With this shut down you’re no longer worried about what you look like or how you acting. You need a deep love for yourself to let your walls down and be to seen in this vulnerable state. You must have a deep knowing that you can bare the depth of your soul and still be loved when you return.
Trauma healing – Trauma and wounding is from lack of love or a perception it wasn’t there. If you have enough love for yourself it is possible to provide yourself with the love that you needed when the trauma took place and in return heal this old wounding. You psyche naturally wants to move towards wholeness but can only do so when supported with love. Sometimes old scary emotions need to be brought up to the surface and released in order to heal. This isn’t always pleasant and so you need love as the backbone to fall back on and to ensure you don’t get stuck in the trauma. Love is what is going to centre, ground, soothe and nurture you back to harmony after any serious healing takes place.
Relationships – Although what we get told is in fact not true and people CAN still love you if you don’t love yourself, it is hard to build a healthy, long lasting relationship without self love. A couple of things can happen when going into a relationship without self-love – either you meet the person of your dreams and their desirability fades when you can not grasp the fact that someone as perfect as them would choose to fall in love with someone as unloveable as yourself. In short the fact that they like you makes them less desirable. Another thing that can happen is Mr/Miss perfect falls in love with you and you push them away to protect the deep belief and conditioning that says you’re unlovable. You must first have a love for yourself to not be offended by love from other people.
When you love yourself deeply you’re not scared of losing people out of your life as you don’t need to depend on them for your source of love. You can easily walk away from relationships that are unhealthy or toxic.
Every day contentment – Self love gives you the deepest sense of contentment. It is something that is always within you, meaning you always feel that you are enough and not searching for outside materialistic items or people to make you feel whole. This offers a quick yet never lasting ‘fix’.
The more you practice self love and create a habit out of doing so the more it becomes normal, comfortable and EASY. It becomes an unconscious habit for your brain to think in alignment with love and you’ll start attracting people and situations that reaffirm this love back to yourself. How amazing is that!? You literally have the power to create the life of your dreams with your own inner source of love.