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Self-love is all about embracing your inner Queen, and knowing that you are deserving of all the things you desire. No matter what it is that you’re trying to manifest or call into your life, whether it be in a relationship, in your body or in your soul, feeling worthy of having it is the first step.

I’m going to go through a couple of different types of worthiness, because different flavours of worthiness and self-worth come into play depending on which area of your life you’re looking at. When it comes to sex, desire, relationships and love, your worthiness must come from a place of knowing you deserve the best. I always tell my clients;

“You are 100% worthy of having fucking excellent sex and being absolutely loved, adored and desired. You are worthy simply for being here, simply for being alive, simply for being born”.

And it’s true, you are worthy of all of this and more – but it’s a little bit different when it comes to career. Let’s say, as an example, that you’re the CEO of a massive corporation. You’ve had the opportunity to work up to your role, you are committed and capable of the responsibilities that come with this position. But it didn’t just fall into your lap – you had to build experience through practice and education, through anchoring into your work. This is how you found your worthiness, through grit and diligence –  and only then did the corporation value you. You almost begin to embrace that sense of deservingness naturally, because you know worked for it. You can embody that worthiness on your own terms now. Whatever it is that you want to do, whether you want to be the CEO of some crazy big business, a life coach, an Olympic champion, whatever it is – you want to reach it in this way of owning your worth through your work. Keep telling yourself that you are worthy of achieving, that one day success will be yours, but keep on taking action step towards it. Keep on embodying the knowledge, keep studying, educating yourself, training, practicing. Keep on embodying the work so that one day, you can be at a level where you are worthy of having that thing, of doing that thing. Before you know it, you’ll be at a level where others can see that you deserve it, and they want you to have it because you’re going to ultimately add value to whatever “it” is.

But here’s the thing – there are so many of us out there who are more than capable of embodying the role that we want, but we keep limiting ourselves. Even though we’re ticking all those boxes, we have a sense of undeservingness and it holds us back. If you really want to be exceptional at whatever it is that you’re aspiring to do in the world, you need the certainty that you can do this. You need to embrace that feeling of worthiness and deservingness to back it up. If you are aspiring to achieve something bigger in your world when it comes to your career and you’re feeling a little bit stuck, I want you to close your eyes and ask yourself – both your intuition and your higher self – why do I not feel worthy of having this desire met? Why do I not feel worthy of manifesting my dream job? Sure, it could be that you don’t feel worthy of having it because you don’t feel that you are equipped with the right education and the right knowledge. Or, it could just be that you don’t feel like you’re good enough – and I guarantee the majority of you listening would have experienced this, because I see it over and over again with so many of my close friends and clients. Being educated, being knowledgeable, being all of these things means nothing if you still have limiting beliefs.

If you’re on a journey of self-discovery and learning, you might need to keep practicing and embodying the work before you have the confidence to actually go out and show it to the world – and that is 100% fine. Keep reminding yourself that you’re worthy of having this desire, but keep on doing the work now. 

Things change when we talk about worthiness in sex, love and relationships. When it comes to feeling desired, the key is to remember that you don’t need to work ’til it’s something that you can achieve. It doesn’t need to be proven, or left in the hands of others to decide. This is the key difference when we talk about career and business, where it may be that you will have to work hard to achieve it and to prove you’re worthy of it – whether that be to the people that you’re working with in your office, your boss, or maybe to your clients.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself throughout the entirety of this process, and allow the journey to be a positive thing. Abandon your limiting beliefs. Perhaps they look something like this;

  • “I will be worthy of having a relationship once I make more money”
  • “I’ll be worthy of love once I fix my emotional health”
  • “I will be worthy of feeling desired when I no longer feel pain during sex”
  • “I will be worthy of feeling love when I am more intelligent”
  • “I will be worthy of desire once I have my boobs done”

It goes on and on and on!

We keep telling ourselves that one day we will be worthy, but often we can end up stuck in a never-ending loop. There is always more money to be made, always more weight to lose, always ways that you can fix yourself and make yourself feel better to feel more loveable. But in doing so, you are only telling yourself that you aren’t worthy of love right now. Your consciousness needs to be telling you that you’re worthy right now, today, because if you’re waiting for those things to come true or to manifest before you give yourself permission, they’re never going to come. It isn’t that you need that thing, it’s not that you need to look a certain way, make more money, or whatever it is that you’re telling yourself that you need to do. What you need is to find acceptance in your natural perfection, and in doing so, you will only invite more abundance into your life.

If you’re committed to making 2020 the year you tap into your inner queen and start showing up in the most ‘unfuckable-with’ sense of self-worth, I invite you to join myself and the other incredible women in the next round of The Pleasure Portal. Click here for more information and here to book in a free clarity call.

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