Redefining orgasm

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I use to wonder why every other woman seemed to be having these hard, fast, uncontrollably wild orgasms that exploded out of nowhere..

By ‘every other woman” I mean the ones I saw in movies or in porn.. (Sigh). 

Eventually I realised I had totally been missing the point. I had never had any proper education on female pleasure or orgasm and the ones I was chasing were not only FAKE but they showed women acting out orgasms based on a mans orgasmic model with intention to turn HIM on.

As women we have so much more available to us. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this flavor of orgasm but it’s not the ultimate, the best or one to put on a pedestal. There are many flavors of orgasm, each being just as delicious as the other.


When you google ‘orgasm’…

But what really makes an orgasm is these three components

  • Sensation (usually pleasure)
  • Expansion or movement of energy through the body
  • Mind shift (an altered experience of surrender, emptiness, stillness, spirituality etc..)

And as long as you’ve got these three ingredients – you’ve got an orgasm! Tadaa! There doesn’t have to be a peak, it doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual or located in the genitals and (for men, if they’re reading) it’s something completely separate from ejaculation.

Orgasms can be..

  • Soft and gentle bliss like a running stream
  • Quick and explosive like a volcano
  • Surrendered and still like an peaceful lake
  • Continuous waves of rippling ecstasy like soft wind through the forest trees
  • Explosion after explosion like waves rolling in from the ocean

We are capable of endless varieties of pleasure, sensation and mind-altering states.

Once I let go of the orgasm I had been chasing, I gave opportunity for it to show up in ways I had never expected.

I’ve experience cry-orgasms, squirt-gasams, orgasm that makes time stand still and the world melt away from around myself and my partner, orgasms that keep rolling in one after another without my partner touching me, explosive orgasms (blink and you miss them), meditative orgasm. I’ve been orgasmic from song, from working out and even been surprised by a temperature sensation orgasm the time my partner talked me into having a cold shower.

Orgasm is not something that happens to you, it’s something that is you. It’s a state of being.

Stop focusing on how you think it’s going to show up, slow down, back up and surrender to the endless possibilities of what could show up. Hand over the rains to you inner wisdom and divine knowing and you’ll be surprised at what deliciousness your body-mind will present you.

With love,


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BLOG – 5 tips for mind-blowing orgasms 

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