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Are you ready for the hottest orgasm tips, possibly ever? Ones that will actually blow your mind! And no, I’m not going to run you through the tips we’ve all become accustom to, like new positions or kinky sex ideas involving oils, handcuffs or food. These tips don’t work and here’s why – the reason women aren’t orgasming as they wish is because of psychological factors not physical. The tips I’m about to give you have worked (and continue to work) magic on my sex life. They have truly revolutionized and enhanced the way modern day women are experiencing orgasm. So here they, are my top five tips for mind blowing orgasms…
Self love – The relationship and comfortability you have with your body directly determines your ability to experience pleasure and orgasm. Many women are unable to surrender to orgasm as they are too fixed on worrying about what their body looks like in the moment. You may be worried about the size of your breasts, the size of your belly, cellulite etc.. Many women are conditioned to feel shame around their vulva and vaginas. The association with this region being ‘dirty’ usually starts when being toilet trained as young children. It then carries on through adulthood with feminine hygiene companies conditioning us to feel shame around our periods and personal hygiene ‘down there’. Then with porn industry making us feel embarrassed of our (un-airbrushed) vulva. Many women go into sex thinking, ‘do I smell’, ‘am I too dry’, ‘does it look funny’, ‘am I dirty’. And how the hell are you meant to focus on pleasure when you’ve got all the BS consuming your thoughts?
Tip: Practice having a positive conversation with the parts of your body you dislike. Look in the mirror naked, compliment yourself and send love to the parts of your body you struggle with. The more you practice the deeper this loving truth will be ingrained into your brain. Eventually it’ll become habit to think positively. You’ll trick yourself into feeling comfortable in your skin and into higher peaks of pleasure. Woohoo!
Every BODY deserves to experience the ultimate peaks of pleasure and bliss that is available to us!
Gratitude – Celebrate and acknowledge the pleasure your body does provide you. Your body is more receptive to positive appraisal rather then criticism, meaning your body gives more pleasure when it feels loved and supported. Having orgasm as your main goal (and being disappointed when it doesn’t happen) will put pressure on your body and actually cause her to shut down, disconnect and pull away from orgasm. Be thankful for every slight sensation of pleasure you experience and your body will open and surrender to even more pleasure the next time.
Tip: After each self-pleasure session or sexual experience (whether you orgasmed or not) close your eyes, connect with you body and recall the deliciousness she just provided you with. Send her endless amounts of love and gratitude.
Focus – Your mind is the biggest culprit when it comes to difficulty orgasming. Turn off your scattered thoughts, get out of your mind and into your body, because this is where all the magic is happening! You’re going to miss it if you’re thinking about the laundry or watching a spider on the ceiling. In the moment this is easier said that done but here’s a way you can begin to transform this..
Tip: Being mindful in the bedroom starts with being mindful outside of the bedroom. Practice sitting in mediation. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, quiet your mind and bring all of your attention to your vagina. Focus on the different sensations that arise from moment to moment. Every time you catch yourself getting distracted sink back into your body and into your vagina – try stay with this for 5 mins. This same technique can be used during sex but it’ll be more easily adapted when embodied first as a solo meditation practice.
Breath – Growing up most of us would hurry self-exploration in fear of being caught. This has lead to habitual, rushed masturbation and breath holding. And often times we put so much focus in the goal of orgasm that we forget to simply breathe. Breath is a fundamental ingredient for ultimate orgasms for a number of reasons;
- It’s helps us to relax allowing a free flow of sexual energy throughout the body. A tense body causes blockages in the pleasure pathways and forces pleasure to stay localised in particular areas. The throat chakra is directly linked the the sexual chakra – a relaxed, surrendered throat = a relaxed, surrendered pussy.
- It soothes the nervous system by relieving anxious thoughts. (Like body insecurities as mentioned above).
- Helps with mindfulness – keeps the focus in the body instead of the distracting thoughts of the mind. (Also mentioned above).
Tip: During self-pleasure or with a partner practice focusing on your breath. Keep a deep, slow, connected breath in and out of your mouth. Focus on breathing in qualities of love and drinking this love into every cell of your body. On the exhale release any limiting thoughts, feelings or sensations.
Language – Remove ‘can’t’ from your vocabulary. Often times I hear women saying ‘I can’t orgasm in that position’, ‘I can’t orgasm like that’, or I‘can’t’ orgasm from intercourse’. Well of course you can’t! Whats that old saying – ‘whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right’. Well that is one hundred percent true in this case. If you don’t believe something could happen how do you expect to follow through with it. There is power in our thoughts and the word can’t is making that barrier in your sexuality tighter. This thought defeats you before you even get started and shuts down beautiful opportunities before they ever have time to present themselves.
Tip: Instead of thinking “I can’t orgasm…”, think “I haven’t yet orgasmed…” or “my body will open up to orgasm when she’s ready”…”I can’t wait till I can orgasm in X position”, “my body will surprise me with orgasm in divine timing”, or purely “I am orgasmic” – remember orgasm isn’t something that happens to you it’s something that you are.
The next time your partner wants to try a position that you believe you can’t orgasm from or can’t enjoy, let that thought slip your mind and instead be open to the possibility of what could happen.
Wishing you a life full of ultimate pleasure and mind-blowing orgasms 😉