If having an orgasm is an event, and an event must have a beginning and an end, we are limiting our capacity. A state of being on the other hand, is limitless. Let’s go into this a little bit more and break it down, because if you can expand your definition of orgasm, ultimately you’re going to expand your experience of orgasm.
Orgasm is made up of three different components.
The first is sensation, which is usually pleasure but not always. Some people can orgasm from other types of sensation like pain. The second is expansion or movement of energy throughout the body. The third is a mind shift, an altered state of consciousness. This may be experienced as a feeling of surrender to a sensation of emptiness, stillness, or timelessness. So as long as you have these three things – sensation, expansion or movement of energy, and mind shift – you have an orgasm. Those three ingredients are all you need, and there doesn’t need to be peak or climax (contrary to popular belief). It can be ongoing, which is it’s own super yummy and delicious form of orgasm. It doesn’t even need to be located in the genitals! If there’s any man reading this or for the ladies interested, orgasm for a man can be completely separate from ejaculation, too.
The importance of redefining your understanding of orgasm is it can expand the way you experience pleasure. If you are really focused on just one way that you believe orgasm should show up, what you are really doing is becoming narrow-minded and potentially cutting out all other possible experiences and juicy paths, flavours and energies that could otherwise come through you if you were open to them. This can happen through watching porn and watching videos of other women having orgasms, thinking ‘this is what my orgasm needs to look like’. If you’re aiming for something specific or believe women can only experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation, you get very used to what that feels like and end up believing that if you are going to have an orgasm it MUST show up that way. It doesn’t! You need to stop focusing on how you think it’s going to show up, and instead slow down, back up and surrender to the endless possibilities of what could potentially show up. Once you hand over the reins to your inner wisdom and divine knowing, you’ll be completely surprised at what deliciousness your body and mind will present you with.
Once I began to learn this I almost stopped focusing on orgasm, and more just felt myself as an orgasmic being. This is when things really started to shift for me. I’ve had really energetic orgasms like crying orgasms or squirting orgasms, and then I’ve had really mind-shifting orgasms that have made time stand still and the whole world melt away from me and my partner. Orgasms that keep rolling in, one after another, sometimes without my partner even touching me. I’ve had really quick orgasms, like blink and you’ll miss them! I’ve had orgasms in meditation, and I’ve actually felt orgasm from singing – singing in a group of friends at a retreat, which was incredibly eye-opening for me. Once you open your mind up, the possibilities are ENDLESS!
The very first time I actually experienced orgasm, I was about 11 or 12 and it happened in gymnastics, just from working out. It can also happen if you are doing a lot of lower ab exercises as well, so again, orgasm doesn’t even necessarily have to be highly erotic or sexual. What I want you to take away from this is that orgasm is not something that happens to you. If it’s something that happens to you, that doesn’t sound very empowering, does it? Orgasm is something that is you! There is so much power and unlimited potential in that – it’s a state of being. I want you to really sit with that, and I promise that in doing so, your mind, body and pussy will be open to receiving new depths of pleasure in ways you may have never even dreamt of.